Do we have to do that?
Most of the time, my answer is not if you don’t want to!
My Wedding Ceremony Top Tip conversation always begins with –
Tell me what do you want to do for your wedding ceremony?
Legal Must Do’s
Obviously, there are legal components to a wedding ceremony, the parts that legally marry you to each other. And yes you do have to do those, and it is my legal obligation to ensure they are done correctly. After all, I am paid to marry couples.
But they are short, pretty dry, and not the nuts and bolts of your ceremony.
Pop over to my resources tab to check out my Ceremony Guidelines, which are a very basic list of ceremony inclusions and a good base point to start.
So what are our Nuts and Bolts?
The nuts and bolts are all the little pieces that make your ceremony yours, the personal stuff, the jokes, loves, and laughs… The stuff you want to do as part of your ceremony, and just as importantly the bits you really don’t want to do…
It is your guests and your bridal party, the people you choose to be there with you as you do this important thing… The legal stuff is simply the vehicle that gets you to the point of being a married couple!
As you can see in the top photo, perfectly captured by Tanya from TB Photography and Videography, if having a beer with you at the end of your ceremony is important to you, I am more than happy to oblige!
So how do I create your Ceremony?
Ceremony structure is a very personal thing, well it should be at least!
I work hard to ensure that it is for every couple I work with, when I am creating a bespoke ceremony. I encourage couples to take control of the ceremony content, so that it perfectly reflects you as a couple, and as individuals.
Wedding Ceremony Top Tip – This ceremony is the kick starter for your day, it will set the scene and give your guests a glimpse of what is to follow. It might be formal or relaxed, but it is important that it is ‘you’. If you are not a beach person, you wouldn’t choose to get married on a beach. So if you are not formal kind of people, why would your ceremony be?
Are you movie fans, or Disney die-hards? Or Gamers, or do you call yourselves Nerds (you get the idea of where I’m going with this?)
Then incorporate those loves into your ceremony. I love finding quotes and sayings from all sorts of genres, to perfectly fit that ceremony for that Geek / Si-Fi / Disney mad couple.
Can we personalise our vows?
Vows are a perfect example of where there is a huge misconception. I get asked about vows a lot. Literally, every couple I marry are unsure about how to do their vows, and it is often because they think there is a way they SHOULD do them or a way it is USUALLY done…
There is no usual, no MUST DOS when it comes to this personal part of your ceremony. These vows are your personal words to this amazing person that you are standing with, about to become a married couple, and you can say and do whatever you darn well like Sure, if you want, you can say them with the legal vows that you legally have to say
Sure, you can say them when you exchange rings
You can read them off cards that I will prepare for you
You can read them to each other in private, or out loud so all your guests can hear
You can even read each other’s vows
Or you can not do it at all, and I will craft a longer asking and ring exchange for you so your ceremony is still personal but you don’t have to talk so much.
It’s all up to the two of you, because YOU are in charge of how your ceremony goes.
For example, take my lovely couple, Jess and Ben, in this photo by the amazing Davin from Bliss Images. Rock, Paper, Scissors was a fun thing they do to decide who was going to do something. So a ‘Rock Off’ was the perfect way for them to start their vows, winner goes first of course!!! It was fun, it made the guests laugh, and it was perfectly them!
I say it time and time again… It’s your wedding, do it your way! Sometimes I feel like I am a one-woman mission to educate the world that there are options… But I know that I am part of a growing community of Celebrants who all believe as I do, that ceremonies are no longer to be the slow and boring ones that we have experienced in the past… Wedding Ceremony Top Tip 101 – The fun ceremony revolution is here!
You can check out my FAQ page under to find out more about this subject.